Vegeta vs. Geocities
by Jumi
Summary: Vegeta getting h4xx0r3d? Someone is going to pay, and unfortunately this time it's Geocities. Whee yet again!


Vegeta vs Geocities

Vegeta Vs. Geocities   
by   
Robert Silvers

Vegeta strolled up to see what his son Trunks was doing on the computer. 

"What are you doing, boy?" Vegeta asked in his usual gruff tone. 

"Oh, I'm in a chat room," Trunks replied, not bothering to turn away from the computer. 

"What?" Vegeta asked. 

"A place on the internet where you can talk to people across the world. It's pretty cool." Trunks answered. 

"Hmph. Sounds like a waste of time, but let me try," Vegeta said in an unusual display of curiosity. 

"Here you go, Dad, just let me log out," Trunks hit a few more buttons. "There. It's all yours." 

"How do I get started?" Vegeta asked, seemingly puzzled. 

"Just type in your nickname, what you want to be called, here, and hit enter... there you go." Trunks told him. 

"Hmph." Vegeta grunted, then typed in "Saiya-jin Prince" as his nickname. 

"Heh," Trunks chuckled. "You're sure to get a lot of attention with that name." 

"Shut up, baka!" Vegeta said. 

"Okay," Trunks said, "Just type in whatever you want to say here and hit enter. That's how you talk to people." 

"Okay," Vegeta said. 

"Well, I'm going out to train with Goten." Trunks said. "Let me know how it goes." 

"Whatever." Vegeta said. "Don't hang around too much with Kakarott's kid." 

Trunks had already run out, however, so Vegeta turned his full attention to the screen. 

"Let's see what these people have to say..." 

* * * * *

SAIYA-JIN PRINCE ENTERS THE CHAT ROOM.  
Doodle: Looks like we have real royalty on our hands.  
G0th Chick: Cool. Are you really a Saiya-jin.  
Saiya-jin Prince: Silence! Don't talk that way to me! I'm royalty! Show some respect!  
L4/\/\3R: OH DOOD UR ROYALTIE THAT IS COOL  
CloudStrife889: Dude can you teach us some moves.  
Doodle: Yeah, stuff that is kewl.  
Saiya-jin Prince: I'll tell you for the last time, show some damn respect, damn it!  
GEO HOST: PLEASE DO NOT USE THAT TYPE OF LANGUAGE IN OUR CHAT ROOM.  
Saiya-jin Prince: The hell?  
CloudStrife889: Dude you got a warning.  
L4/\/\3R: DOOD UR L4/\/\3!!!111  
Saiya-jin Prince: Shut the hell up before I blow you away!  
G0th Chick: A real prince would not talk like that.  
Saiya-jin Prince: Are you calling me a liar?  
G0th Chick: If the shoe fits...  
Saiya-jin Prince: I've killed people for less.  
Doodle: Well aren't you kewl?  
Saiya-jin Prince: Are you mocking me?  
CloudStrife889: Dude you think you are bad.  
Doodle: He's gonna blow us all away.  
L4/\/\3R: YEAH WITH HIS MAD SKILLZ!!!111  
Saiya-jin Prince: Caps lock! Learn to use it!  
True Saiya-jin Prince: UR NOT THE REAL SAIYAN PRINCE IA M>  
Saiya-jin Prince: You pathetic lamer. Your power level is weak.  
Doodle: Aren't you bad.  
CloudStrife889: Dude he is bad.  
G0th Chick: I doubt he it. He is just some kid trying to act like a fighter.  
Saiya-jin Prince: Just some kid? I ought to send you all to hell.  
GEO HOST: DO NOT USE THAT TYPE OF LANGUAGE IN OUR CHAT ROOM.  
Saiya-jin Prince: Go to hell, you bastards. I'll send everyone of you bastards to another dimension!  
***USER SAIYA-JIN PRINCE HAS BEEN BOOTED FROM THIS CHATROOM. 

* * * * *

"The hell was that?!" Vegeta raged. "BOOTED? TRUNKS, GET IN HERE!" 

Trunks came running in. "Yeah, Dad?" 

"What does 'booted' mean?" Vegeta asked, irritated. 

"Uh-oh. It means you were bad. Did you cuss or something?" Trunks asked. 

"Don't question me." Vegeta said sternly. "They won't get away with this. Where are the Geocities offices?" 

"Uh, California, I think," Trunks said, scratching his head. 

"Hmph. They won't get away with this," Vegeta said as he powered up, rammed his hand through the computer screen, and flew off in a flash of light. 

"Looks like Dad's going to be home late again," Trunks said to himself. 

* * * * *

"Finally! Here I am!" Vegeta said. "Now those bastards are going to pay for booting me out of that chat room! Now where are their offices?" 

Luckily, he had landed right in the middle of Los Angeles, so he grabbed a phone book and began thumbing through it, until he found Geocities phone number and address. People didn't seem to notice the man who had just flown in and was now tearing through a phone book mumbling about "another dimension." 

"Aha! Here it is," he said to himself. "I'll call them first. Give them a chance to explain and beg for my forgiveness." 

He dialed the number, and of course, got the machine. 

"Hello," it began. "You have reached the offices of Geocities. If you are having trouble with a Geocities page, press one. If you have received Geocities mail or e-mail mistakenly, press two. If you have questions about investing in Geocities, press three. For Geocities chat inquiries, press four. For all other questions, press five or wait and an operator will attend to you shortly. 

Vegeta pressed number four and waited impatiently. Before long, he got another machine. 

"For questions concerning Geochat, press one. For advertising questions, press two, for information about Geochat, press three. For complaints, press four." 

Vegeta pressed four again and again waited impatiently. 

"Hello?" the voice on the line said. 

"This is starting to get on my nerves! I'm tired of waiting. I need to talk to whoever is in charge of Geochat, NOW!" 

"Hold on," came the generic voice over the line. 

Vegeta listened with growing anger at the ignorant John Tesh medley they played as he waited. Finally he heard another voice. 

"Yes? May I help you?" 

"I need to speak with whoever is in charge of Geochat!" 

"Hold on," the operator said, and quickly put Vegeta on hold before he had a chance to speak. He listened to more of the John Tesh medley until he could stand it no more, and finally he hung the phone up, hitting it hard enough to shatter the receiver. He then ripped the phone booth up out of the ground and heaved it across the street, narrowly missing cabs and other cars. 

"SCREW YOU, BUDDY!" one cabby yelled angrily. Vegeta quickly flew into the air and blasted his car with a fireball, blowing it up. 

"Damn Americans," he said angrily, before he again flew off in search of Geocities. 

* * * * *

After searching for about an hour and a half, he found the Geocities offices. He could have found it sooner, but the American street names made little sense to him and he refused to ask for directions. The prince of the Saiyans would not, could not, ask for directions. Especially not from common humans. 

He stepped up, grabbed the door handle, and yanked the door off of its hinges, walking in as people had begun to stare. He strode up to the secretary proudly. 

"Where is the president?" he asked, or rather demanded, not knowing (or caring) that the president didn't know anything about the chat rooms. 

"He's in a meeting, sir," the secretary said, as she continued to file her nails. This annoyed Vegeta greatly, so he yanked the file out of her hand and crushed it in his palm. 

"I need to speak to him, NOW!" Vegeta demanded. 

"He's in a meeting, sir," she said again, sounding like a broken record. 

Vegeta finally decided that she knew nothing, and rather than blast her to another dimension, he walked past her desk to the president's door. 

"You shouldn't go in there, sir," the secretary said. Vegeta of course payed no attention, and finally she sat began down, pulled another nail file out of her desk, and began filing her finger nails again. 

Vegeta opened the door, strode in, and slammed it, waking the president, who was asleep on his desk. 

"Who the hell are you?" the man said, quite startled. 

"I thought you were in a meeting," Vegeta said. "Anyway, I need to talk to you about something that happened in one of your chat rooms today." 

"What on earth are you talking about?" the man said, wondering why a large, spikey-haired man was questioning him about a chat room. 

"Silence!" Vegeta commanded. "You will not speak to the prince of the Saiya-jins like that! Now, I was booted from one of your chat rooms today. I demand an apology." 

"I don't know anything about the chat rooms," the man said, truthfully. "You'll have to talk to the vice-president of communications." 

"Where is he at?" Vegeta asked. 

"Second floor, room 203," he said, then settled back down for his nap. 

"I don't trust you," Vegeta said. "You're coming with me!" Vegeta grabbed the man and shot out the door, around the corner, and up the stairs with his superhuman speed, dragging the man along behind him. 

Finally he got to room 203. He threw the door open and walked in the same as he had before, not caring about the various workers who tried to keep him from disturbing the vice-president. He was however slightly startled when he saw the vice-president. 

"ZARBON?!" he shouted, dropping the president with a start. The president quickly ran over to Zarbon's side. 

"Well," Zarbon said, "Hello, Vegeta. I haven't seen you in a while, gov'ner. Would you care to join me for a spot of tea?" 

"No!" Vegeta said. "And how is it you're still alive? You're supposed to be dead!" 

"Me great-grandmother wished me back with the Dragonballs," Zarbon said, not realizing how ridiculous the truth actually sounded. 

"Well, I really could care less," Vegeta said. "I was booted from a chat room today, and I want to know who did it! I demand an apology." 

"I did it," Zarbon said, "And you don't have any right coming in here demanding anything. I think I'll take you out the same way I did the first time we fought." 

"Good luck, Zarbon," Vegeta said. "I think I'll just kick your ass the same way I did the last time we fought." 

"This will be the last time," Zarbon said as he attached a scouter to his face. Vegeta also put his scouter on, despite the fact that he didn't really need it. 

"Vegeta," Zarbon said, laughing, "Your power level is pathetic! 3,000? What have you been doing the last few years?" 

"Oh, you know," Vegeta said, "This and that. Mostly, THIS!" As he said it, he began powering up. Chunks of tile started rising off the floor and whirling around the room. Zarbon's various degrees and paperweights began to fall off the shelves. Then a burst of flame shot out and Vegeta's hair turned golden blonde. He had gone Super Saiyan. 

"What in the hell?" Zarbon said, watching his scouter go through the roof. Finally, he managed to compose himself and wipe the look of surprise off of his face. "It doesn't matter. I've learned a few new tricks as well." 

He flew at Vegeta and landed a punch, sending Vegeta across the room. Vegeta got up and flew behind Zarbon at a speed that made him near invisible. He locked his two hands together and brought them down across Zarbon's back, sending Zarbon to the floor. 

Zarbon got up but his gut quickly met with Vegeta's knee, as he was tossed up into the air, hitting the ceiling fan. The fan hit him on the head, but he didn't feel that, as Vegeta blasted him with fireballs. Finally he hit the floor, already beaten pretty badly. 

"Pathetic, Zarbon." Vegeta taunted. "I suggest using some of those 'new tricks,' unless you were bluffing. The only hope you even have of beating me is if you transform, if you still can." 

"Oh, I can, Vegeta," Zarbon said. Finally he let out a growl and transformed into his beast form, running at Vegeta. Vegeta managed to dodge, but was hit in the back with an elbow. He fell to the floor, only to feel Zarbon's foot stomping on him. 

"You never could beat me, Vegeta," he said, "But if you give up now, I'll go easy on you." 

Vegeta stood up and smirked. "It'll be a cold day in hell before I give up to you, Zarbon. You'll always be Freeza's lap dog." 

"Freeza's working in the mail room now," Zarbon said, "And I'm in charge. But if that's the way it's gonna be, I'll just have to wipe that stupid smirk off of your face." 

"Well, Zarbon," Vegeta said, still grinning, "You're welcome to try if you think you can. As a matter of fact, your face is starting to get to me, so I think I'll REARRANGE IT!" Vegeta immediately flew at Zarbon, busting him in the chops and knocking him through a window, out into the fountain in the front. 

Zarbon got up, obviously angry as Vegeta hovered in the air outside the office window. 

"You're going to pay for that, you little snot!" Zarbon yelled. 

Vegeta watched Zarbon as the president ran up to take care of him. Zarbon sent him away, then looked back up at Vegeta, who had left the smirk on his face. Vegeta suddenly charged up and began raining fireballs down on Zarbon. Zarbon continued to stumble back as each successive fireball hit him, finally falling in the water fountain again. Vegeta laughed at his opponent's weakness. 

"You are weak, Zarbon!" Vegeta taunted, "You cannot beat a Super Saiyan!" 

"Just you wait, Vegeta," Zarbon said as he called the president over, "I've got something for you!" 

Vegeta waited, and Zarbon and the president talked for a moment, then began posing. When each was in a similar pose, a flash of light went off that made Vegeta squint. When his vision turned to normal, he saw one figure where the two had been. 

"What in the hell?" Vegeta said. 

"You see, Vegeta," Zarbon said triumphantly. "I told you I had a few tricks up my sleeve. I am now twice as powerful as I was before." 

Vegeta checked his scouter, and saw that it was true. Zarbon's power was at least over 2 million, if not more. Suddenly Zarbon shot up like a cannon, hitting Vegeta in the jaw and sending him back into the concrete. He followed that up with a punch that bashed Vegeta's skull into the wall even more. Finally he grabbed Vegeta's head and repeatedly bashed it into the wall. He let go and Vegeta dropped a story into the concrete. 

"You are weak, Vegeta!" Zarbon said triumphantly. "You were never as strong as I, and now I take my revenge!" 

Vegeta slowly stood up, despite the pain, and looked at Zarbon. "NOBODY DEFEATS THE PRINCE OF THE SAIYANS!" Vegeta screamed. "NOBODY!" Fire began to engulf Vegeta as Zarbon looked on in awe and disbelief. Finally Vegeta screamed as he made the transformation to Super Saiyan level two. 

"Oh my god!" Zarbon said as his scouter began to go off of the charts. "This is impossible!" 

Vegeta smirked and flew towards Zarbon, hitting him in the stomach. He grabbed Zarbon by the leg and pitched him up in the air, then began blasting him with fireballs, sending him even higher. Finally he just stopped and got out of the way as Zarbon hit the concrete, hard. Vegeta lifted him up, and he tried to punch Vegeta. Vegeta caught his hand and twisted it, breaking every bone in it. Zarbon yelped in pain. Vegeta pitched him to the side, and he hit the wall. He flew into the air to try and mount another offensive, but it was no use. He flew at Vegeta, and Vegeta flew at him, and when it was over, Vegeta had planted his hand in Zarbon's stomach, just like before. 

"No, Vegeta... please..." Zarbon begged. 

"Zarbon," Vegeta said, "That's pathetic. At least die like a man." 

Zarbon didn't have a chance to say anything else before Vegeta blasted through his stomach and out his back. Zarbon flew back into the water fountain, dead before he hit the ground. 

"Looks like he fell in the water hazard!" Vegeta said to himself, smirking. He then turned toward the Geocities building. He began charging up, and flew into the air. 

"Time for Zarbon's little company to go bye-bye..." Vegeta said as he continued to power up. "And I hope Freeza's inside to enjoy this!" He let loose one of his famous Gallet Gun Blasts, destroying the Geocities building and everything else within a mile or so radius. 

"That's what you get for booting the prince of the Saiya-jins!" Vegeta said as he flew off toward home. 

* * * * *

"Damn this stupid computer!" Trunks yelled when again it failed to load. He had bought a new monitor for it, and really couldn't see the problem. 

"Honey, stop using that language!" Bulma yelled. "What's wrong with it?" 

"Geochat won't load!" Trunks said. 

"Oh, I'm sure it's nothing," Goten, who was with him, said, "The server must just be down." 

Vegeta walked in, and made his way to the gravity room, mumbling only, "You have no idea." 

THE END


End file.
